Why Do I Even Fucking Bother?
I've come a long way in letting you go, but old habits die hard. I guess when I start sharing my innermost thoughts I still expect you to respond in a way that validates me. More often than not you respond with indifference and it's hard not to take it personally sometimes. I've dropped a lot of my expectations and have received the gift of serenity in return which is a vast improvement from the ongoing turmoil that was my day to day interactions with you prior to Al Anon. I must confess that I am lonely and part of me is still trying to force a relationship of sorts even though my better judgement tells me that I will only end up feeling frustrated. So why do I even bother? I don't find you particularily appealing on any level anymore. Most of the time you're indifferent, grumpy, callous, miserable and stand offish. While you're perfectly entitled to be the way you are, I can't imagine anyone in their right mind wanting to engage on a personal level with s...