Loving And Letting You Go

So here we are about 7 days into you not smoking and 2 weeks(you claim) of you abstaining from alcohol. I'm inclined to believe you've at the very least cut back on your vices because your breathing sounds better and you appear more present and have more energy. You would think that I'd be over the moon happy about this. Part of me definitely is, BUT experience has conditioned me to be wary. I like you a lot more when your sober. I find you infinitely more attractive and hiring lies the problem...I begin to fantasize about the idyllic life I could have with you. I get caught up in the romantic fantasy of a "happily ever after" fairytale romance that was the shaky foundation upon which our initial relationship was built. Don't get me wrong, the first 2 years of our relationship were pure bliss, but then the trials and tribulations or real life hit and I failed those tests miserably. I had never experienced love in a relationship like I did with you. I naively t...

Dear Dan, I flip-flop day to day regarding whether or not I can embrace my living situation with you. At best, it serves my interests, and at its worst I find myself feeling extremely frustrated, lonely and planning my exit strategy. A lot depends on your level of sobriety and my ability to adapt to where you're at. It's a lot of ups and downs. The lack of consistency is really stressful. It's probably the greatest source of stress in my life. On your good days I find myself becoming hopeful that this is the turning point. Then, my hopes are shattered when you go on another bender. I know you're sick and just doing your best to cope, but it's really hard being shown the light at the end of the tunnel and then having to go back into the darkness.  When I'm in a good headspace I find it easier to adapt, but lately it's become increasingly difficult. I'm worn out. I find myself having a harder and harder time coping. I feel irritated and emotionally drained...