I'm Angry
I have no malice. I have no ill will towards you. I am hurt and right now I am angry. I am angry that despite my years of trying to support you through your struggles with alcoholism, we're still in the same place repeating the same cycle over and over again. I take responsibility for enabling you. I take responsibility for my role in a co-dependent relationship. I don't blame you, but I am angry and I am damaged...badly.
I wish you'd get your shit together and by that I mean get some self esteem and start practicing self care. If you started to do that, your life would drastically improve. We're not talking about me right now so don't start pointing the finger back at me and telling me that I need to do the same thing. You need to focus on you, not me. What I do should be of no consequence to you. I appreciate that you have cared for me when I've had struggles with my health, but you've cared for me in lieu of caring for yourself and that has to stop.
I'm going to be honest. Right now, I wouldn't date you. I wouldn't date a man who despite losing his job, going to rehab and getting alcohol related criminal charges can't stay sober for 6 months. I'd be a fool to think that my love could save him or change him. My love and support didn't save you or inspire you enough to create a sustained change in your behavior for the last 3 years, so why would it now? I will always love you, but when it comes to you taking the steps to change your life, my love is irrelevant.
It's a hard pill to swallow coming to the realization that my love can't motivate you enough to change.
I wish you'd get your shit together and by that I mean get some self esteem and start practicing self care. If you started to do that, your life would drastically improve. We're not talking about me right now so don't start pointing the finger back at me and telling me that I need to do the same thing. You need to focus on you, not me. What I do should be of no consequence to you. I appreciate that you have cared for me when I've had struggles with my health, but you've cared for me in lieu of caring for yourself and that has to stop.
I'm going to be honest. Right now, I wouldn't date you. I wouldn't date a man who despite losing his job, going to rehab and getting alcohol related criminal charges can't stay sober for 6 months. I'd be a fool to think that my love could save him or change him. My love and support didn't save you or inspire you enough to create a sustained change in your behavior for the last 3 years, so why would it now? I will always love you, but when it comes to you taking the steps to change your life, my love is irrelevant.
It's a hard pill to swallow coming to the realization that my love can't motivate you enough to change.
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