Dear Dan

I love you. I know that I always will. What I don't know is if we can ever be together again. I can only control my end of things. I can't be in a domestic partnership with you as things are. I can't be any more than just friends with benefits until I'm confident that you've gone through recovery and have established a pattern of living autonomously, sober and empowered from within. That will take some time and it will not be easy for you. I will be your friend(with benefits if you want) as you walk through this journey, but I won't be able to live under the same roof as you during this process. We've tried it several times before and it doesn't work out because our relationship is still co-dependent in many ways and I am an enabler. I care about you so much and I know you can do it. I want to be with you again someday, but I know that can't happen until you make some lasting changes. I am going to continue to work on myself too. Even though I want to be together again in the future doesn't mean that I am going to sacrifice fulfilling my needs in the present. I am going to seek out situations and relationships(both platonic and non) that fulfill my needs. I prefer non-manogamy as a relationship style in general so there will always be room for a relationship with you. Even in the present I would ideally love to be long distance friends with benefits. The ball is in your court. I will accept whatever arrangement you have the capacity for that aligns with my needs and values. Regardless, I will always love you no matter what the parameters of our relationship is.